He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
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