The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
25 Adults Reveal The Most Embarrassing Stories From When They Were Kids
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.