his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.