I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
