did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
