): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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