I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
