Texts From Last Night

Texts from April, 2012

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  (518): View more from New York

  I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.

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  (518): I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures. http://tfl.nu/io2e
  Replies (3) Good night (1539) Bad night (363)
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  (510): View more from California

  A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"

  (1-510): View more from California

  Berkeley was the right choice

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  (510): A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by" (1-510): Berkeley was the right choice http://tfl.nu/la9d
  Replies (6) Good night (1433) Bad night (361) Order T-Shirt
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  (563): View more from Iowa

  Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session

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  (563): Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session http://tfl.nu/02xz
  Replies (2) Good night (481) Bad night (813) Order T-Shirt
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....

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  (910): I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself..... http://tfl.nu/3gq0
  Replies (4) Good night (1167) Bad night (467) Order T-Shirt
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party

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  (416): Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party http://tfl.nu/rykd
  Replies (4) Good night (1158) Bad night (368) Order T-Shirt
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  (647): View more from Ontario

  That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.

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  (647): That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night. http://tfl.nu/q0pz
  Replies (2) Good night (940) Bad night (390) Order T-Shirt
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  (601): View more from Mississippi

  Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.

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  (601): Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though. http://tfl.nu/pqgx
  Replies (20) Good night (3230) Bad night (452) Order T-Shirt
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  (407): View more from Florida

  Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.

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  (407): Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas. http://tfl.nu/zp3l
  Replies (6) Good night (1667) Bad night (366)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  Jake bring pizza.

  (775): View more from Nevada

  JAKE BRING PIZZA.

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  (775): Jake bring pizza. (775): JAKE BRING PIZZA. http://tfl.nu/e6ij
  Replies (6) Good night (1725) Bad night (361)
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test

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  (910): I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test http://tfl.nu/ucs5
  Replies (4) Good night (1801) Bad night (352) Order T-Shirt
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  (386): View more from Florida

  Solid. Can't put a price on good times

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  You can and it's called a liver.

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  (386): Solid. Can't put a price on good times (978): You can and it's called a liver. http://tfl.nu/hzws
  Replies (3) Good night (1650) Bad night (459)
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  (312): View more from Illinois

  All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.

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  (312): All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday. http://tfl.nu/9i7k
  Replies (1) Good night (561) Bad night (967) Order T-Shirt
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  (434): View more from Virginia

  Our room will be decorated with my urine.

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  (434): Our room will be decorated with my urine. http://tfl.nu/12hg
  Replies (2) Good night (395) Bad night (1691) Order T-Shirt
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted

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  (540): I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted http://tfl.nu/dbr2
  Replies (6) Good night (1125) Bad night (328) Order T-Shirt
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"

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  (480): Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good" http://tfl.nu/cw6w
  Replies (6) Good night (1177) Bad night (728) Order T-Shirt