Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".