Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
New York to be Host to Americaâ€™s Biggest Singles Event
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Kylie Jenner Wasnâ€™t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".