the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?