PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Dating After Heartbreak
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
These Images Prove Chrissy Teigen is the Funniest Model Alive
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.