Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Don't make out with my wife yet
After last night, I could never be a politician.
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Tell her she can't have a vagina
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.