new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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