My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
