I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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