i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Betty ford says i'm here all night
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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