I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
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