god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
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