Where are you?
In a non slutty way
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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