so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
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