this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
