so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
