Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
