I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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