so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
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