mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize