She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
