she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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