***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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