I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
