Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize