I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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