He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
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