I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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