Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
