Hey man sorry I got all grabby
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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