I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
