Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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