textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I just googled if crying burns calories
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
