Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
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I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
