Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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