omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
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