If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
