one two three fourrrrnication!
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Randomize
