I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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