I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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