suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Randomize
