I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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