Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
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