He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
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