Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
True but thats because hes a fetus.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
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