i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Randomize
