Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Randomize