Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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