I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
