I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
