And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
