i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
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