How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
