i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
