they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
